Counseling is a collaborative effort between an individual and a counselor. It provides a supportive environment to talk openly and confidentially about concerns and feelings. It is a powerful, time honored and proven method of helping people change the way they feel and manage their lives. Research studies indicate that people with emotional problems who utilize counseling do better than those who do not. It is vitally important for individuals to understand that everyone is different and the benefits of counseling will depend on the problem, the client, the counselor, and the type and length of therapy.

Many people avoid entering counseling because of the misconception that they will be considered to be “sick or crazy”. Sick is a term used traditionally in the medical profession and relates to being “cured or well”. These terms or concepts do not necessarily apply to emotional distress, for those terms imply mental illness. A more appropriate way to think about counseling is that the person has grown, improved, gained insight, or solved specific problems. Of course, some people do have a chronic mental illness and can benefit from counseling in order to help cope with, not cure, their illness. In these cases the counseling goal is to improve the quality of the client’s life.

Counseling typically starts with an assessment of problematic symptoms and maladaptive behaviors that often intrude into a person’s social life, personal relationships, school or work activities, and physical health. Specific psychotherapeutic strategies may be employed to alleviate specific problems causing distress such as depression, anxiety or relationship problems. It is important for clients to be self aware and open, but this is difficult for most people due to feelings of shame, guilt, and unforgiveness.  

Counseling may involve the development of insight as to how your physical health may be compromised in many ways by emotional and relationship issues. It is designed to help clients of all ages understand how their feelings and thoughts affect the ways they act, react, and relate to others. Whether or not counseling works depends a great deal on the client’s willingness and ability to experience relationships deeply, especially the therapeutic relationship. Each client has a unique opportunity to view themselves more accurately, and to make connections between past and current conflicts that illuminate the way one relates to oneself and to others.

As with any powerful treatment, there are some risks as well as many benefits with therapy. You should think about both the benefits and risks when making any treatment decisions. For example, in therapy, there is a risk that clients will, for a time, have uncomfortable levels of sadness, guilt, anxiety, anger, frustration, loneliness, helplessness, or other negative feelings. Clients may recall unpleasant memories. Because feelings will be explored, you may feel a range of emotions that can be intense at times. This is part of a normal process and does not mean there is something bad or wrong with you.  The hope is that the experience and expression of feelings will bring to the surface “what is right” with you.  Clients are encouraged to talk about thoughts and feelings that arise in counseling, especially feelings toward the counselor/therapist. These feelings are important because elements of one’s history of important affections and hostilities toward parents and siblings or significant others are often shifted onto the therapist and the process of therapy. These feelings or memories may bother a client at work or in school. In addition, some people in your community may mistakenly view anyone in therapy as weak, or perhaps as seriously disturbed or even dangerous. Also, clients in therapy may have problems with people important to them. Family secrets may be told. Therapy may disrupt a marital relationship and sometimes may even lead to a divorce. Sometimes, too, a client’s problems may temporarily worsen after the beginning of treatment. Most of these risks are to be expected when people are making important changes in their lives. Finally, even with our best efforts, there is a risk that therapy may not work out well for you.

While you consider these risks, you should know also that the benefits of therapy have been shown by scientists in hundreds of well-designed research studies. People who are depressed may find their mood lifting. Others may no longer feel afraid, angry, or anxious. In therapy, people have a chance to talk things out fully until their feelings are relieved or the problems are solved. Clients’ relationships and coping skills may improve greatly. They may get more satisfaction out of social and family relationships. Their personal goals and values may become clearer. They may grow in many directions—as persons, in their close relationships, in their work or schooling, and in the ability to enjoy their lives. We do not take on clients who we do not think we can help. Therefore, we will enter our relationship with optimism about our progress.

Counseling can be relatively short-term (8-16 weeks) when the focus is limited to resolve specific symptoms or problem areas, or longer term if the treatment focus targets more pervasive or long-standing difficulties. Counseling aims to help people experience life more deeply, enjoy more satisfying relationships, resolve painful conflicts, and better integrate all the parts of their personalities.
 

As you begin counseling, you should establish clear goals with your counselor. You might be trying to overcome feelings of hopelessness associated with depression or control a fear that is disrupting your daily life. Remember, certain goals require more time to reach than others. You and your counselor should decide at what point you may expect to begin to see progress.
 

It is a good sign if you begin to feel a sense of relief, and a sense of hope. People often feel a wide variety of emotions during counseling. Some qualms about counseling that people may have result from their having difficulty discussing painful and troubling experiences. When you begin to feel relief or hope, it can be a positive sign indicating that you are starting to explore your thoughts and behavior. When you feel that you have accomplished your counseling goals, it is time to discuss termination with your counselor.
 

The Decision to Begin Counseling
The decision to enter counseling, also called therapy or psychotherapy is a personal decision; most people make this decision when experiencing an emotional crisis that interferes with their relationships. We are all individuals and thus feel and experience emotional distress and discomfort differently. Some signs that counseling should be considered are when you:
·         Are self-destructive, or having suicidal thoughts, are harmful to others
·         Are bothered repeatedly by thoughts or nightmares of traumatic events
·         Are having difficulty concentrating on work or normal tasks
·         Are experiencing excessive worry, anxiety, confusion, or are disoriented
·         Are feeling depressed more often than not and lasting more than 2 weeks
·         Become easily angered, irritable, or frustrated
·         Are experiencing mood swings for no apparent reason
·         Are having self-defeating, or addictive behaviors
·         Are having employment or career difficulties, and relationship problems
·         When friends, family or co-workers keep asking you if you are okay
·         Are feeling “stuck” emotionally, helpless, or that things are hopeless
·         Realizing that talking to friends and family are not enough
·         Realizing that you cannot solve this without professional help

The Decision to Terminate Counseling
Counseling should be viewed as a partnership involving the counselor and the client working together. Together they decide how they will work together, discuss how the treatment is going, and when therapy is finished.  Some signs that it is time to terminate counseling are when you:
·         Feels you have accomplished the desired goals
·         Learned the sources of your problem and have learned how to effectively handle them
·         Have discovered healthy ways to reduce and manage the problems
·         Have learned how to take care of yourself to maintain your mental health